


hermitcraft oneshots and stuff (paused temporarily)

by orphan_account



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Multi, One Shot, Shipping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24160117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: okay so this is basically just where i put all the hermitcraft content i can think of, mostly season 7 but maybe also earlier ones. there's probably gonna be mainly oneshots but maybe also some other stuff like headcannons, incorrect quotes, maybe some occasional fanart, you get it. i dont have an upload schedule, i'll just post when i got something finished. shipping will be present here (DISCLAIMER: I DON'T SHIP THE HERMITS IRL, ONLY THEIR PERSONAS. if any of the people mentioned in here (eg. the hermits) are uncomfortable with me writing about them, i will delete the chapters including them), maybe also some smutthere are also going to be warnings before the chapters so you can just skip what you don't wanna read or what might trigger you
Relationships: Falsesymmetry/ZombieCleo
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	1. Introduction

okay, i don't know how you ended up here. are you lost? if you are searching for high-quality content you are wrong here, that's literally the opposite end of ao3.

come on, go away.

seriously, why are you still here?

i know my writing, you really aren't missing out on anything.

you're really stubborn, aren't you?

okay, fine, you wanted to read this, i gave you enough chances to go and read better stuff, now you gotta live with it

now that everyone sane is gone: welcome to my book! the description basically says it all, this is where i upload all my half-decent and bad hermitcraft stuff (tbf, most of it is not decent in the slightest but well, you asked for it). also, i usually don't upload my stuff and just let it rot away in my writing app, so i'm probably terrible with formatting and shit. you can also expect swearing and adult content but well, this literally has smut and lemon as tags so i won't put trigger warnings for swear words everywhere. 

also cross posting with wattpad as already mentioned

there will probably more content as long as i'm still in lockdown, but i guess that's obvious haha. 

so, now, to not keep you waiting any longer (for what though?), that's it for now, i'm now gonna start writing the first oneshot, which is probably going to be finished some time tomorrow, but i don't know for sure yet, so i might see you then, cya!


	2. Chapter 1 - Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so, here's the first oneshot, enjoy! (already posted this on wattpad yesterday, but i'll try to update at the same time from now on)
> 
> Disclaimer: fluff, shipping, kissing
> 
> Ships: False x Cleo (main), Stress x Iskall, Ren x Doc (mentioned), Joe x X (mentioned), Keralis x Bdubs (mentioned), Zed x Impulse x Tango (mentioned)
> 
> Summary: Xisuma has a great idea to bring the hermits closer together (not only metaphorically speaking). Takes place at the start of season 7, it's Christmas time though.

"Come on guys, we still need to do half the shopping district, so hurry up!" Iskall and Grian rolled their eyes as they followed Mumbo, both of them carrying the cartons with the mistletoes. It had been Xisuma's idea to hang them around the whole server, so the hermits had been split into groups. The three of them were responsible for the shopping district, the ZIT trio for the nether, Scar, Cub, Ren and Keralis for the farms, the girls and Joe for the bases, Etho, Beef, Doc and Bdubs for the end and some others for other parts of the server, like the mining desert or the mining mesa. As the trio walked through the shopping district, putting up mistletoes everywhere, it began to snow for the first time that year, and soon everything was covered under a thin layer of snow. "Hey, are you guys finished?" They turned around to where the sound came from. It was Zedaph, Impulse and Tango who just came out of the nether portal, carrying a few empty boxes, watching them put up the last few mistletoes. "Yeah, almost. Those are the last ones." A little bit later they joined them at the nether portal and all of them sat down on the steps, chatting a bit. "So, do you guys have a clue what X is up to with this stuff?", Mumbo asked. "Nope, thought you might know. Well, I guess we're gonna find out one way or another, right?", Tango answered. The six of them talked a bit longer before Grian decided to go home, as well as Mumbo, who was soon followed by Zedaph and Impulse, and a bit later Tango and Iskall left as well, flying back to their bases through the cold winter air.

In the morning, all hermits gathered in the shopping district again which was now fully covered in a thick layer of snow, most of them in warm coats and sweaters. They chatted quietly until everyone had arrived and X spoke up. "Okay, guys, first, Merry Christmas y'all!" The other hermits all mumbled something similar in return and Cleo asked: "So, do we get to know what you planned with these mistletoes or not?" X just smiled and answered: "Oh, you definitely will sooner or later, but it's way more fun like this." The others just groaned or rolled their eyes and X laughed at them. "Alright, well, I really only wanted to say that we're gonna have the christmas party at 6 this evening in the christmas district, that's north-ish from here, just behind Zedaph's base, alright?" There were some affirmative noises and X said: "Well then, have fun, and see y'all later!" He flew away and the hermits left as well, some of them by flying, some of them by going through the nether, and a few of them stayed in the shopping district, to be exact Bdubs, Ren, Joe and Iskall and Stress, who checked out some shops together.

Stress wanted to quickly go to her glass shop to see if she had made any sales, so they made their way through the snow to her shop. "Man, someone's gotta start shipping some snow here, at least on the roads, this is really bugging me", Iskall said, sounding annoyed. Stress agreed and when they stopped in front of the glass shop to get rid of the snow under their shoes so they wouldn't bring it inside, their feet were suddenly like... glued to the ground? "Uhm... Iskall, love? Do...do you know what's going on?", Stress asked in a slightly concerned voice. He looked around confusedly before looking at something over their heads. "Oh come on, Xisuma!" He sounded annoyed and amused at the same time, and also kind of impressed. Stress now saw it as well and just sighed. "Do... we have to kiss now?" She blushed a bit and Iskall mumbled: "I - I guess so, yeah..." He looked at her and put one hand at her cheek, hesitatingly coming closer until their noses almost touched. They both closed their eyes before he made the last step and pressed his lips onto Stress'. It was a soft, gentle and shy touch, and they felt how their cheeks warmed up, getting rushed with blood. They probably kissed longer than they had to, but they actually kinda liked it so they didn't really care, even though they ended it again relatively soon. Stress had a small smile on her lips and Iskall reached for her hand shyly, both of them blushing again as Stress grabbed it. They were able to move again, so Iskall had been right with his assumption that they would be stuck under there until they kissed. Maybe this wasn't too bad after all...

~~~

False was sitting in Doc's chair at the button, waiting for it to tick over to a better colour. As cool as green team was and everything, but she really wanted a better belt. She had been waiting for what felt like ages and felt kind of tired, so she soon gave in and took a little nap.

She snapped awake as she heard some footsteps coming closer, instantly on her feet and aware of her surroundings, but she kind of relaxed again as she saw Cleo, knowing that the other girl wouldn't press it at yellow, she was already red belt, what also suited her way better than the blue hair. "Hey False. Just checking, not gonna snipe it, I promise." She laughed, and it was her typical loud, joyful laughter, and it immediately brought a little smile to the blonde's face. "Good, because I've been waiting for ages and if anyone pressed it now I would literally kill them. I kinda understand Doc now." She laughed and Cleo came a bit closer, leaning against the chair casually. "I thought you might want to drink something, since you've been here for quite some time now. She handed a her a bottle and she just took it with a surprised look. "I... thanks, Cleo." The redhead smiled and said: "Well, if you need anything else, let me know, but I still got some stuff to do, so if you don't mind, I'll have to leave now." "Oh, sure, I didn't expect anyone to come by anyways, I guess I'll see you tonight then, right?" The zombie nodded and said: "Yup, until then, see you." She turned towards the direction of her portal and took her rockets, trying to take off, but she somehow couldn't jump. "Uhm, False, do you know why I can't move?" The blonde looked at her with a confused look. "What? No clue." She wanted to go back to the chair, but her feet were stuck on the ground as well. "Uh... False? I think I know why..." She pointed to something above their heads, a little twig with green leaves and white berries. "Honestly? X!" Cleo chuckled quietly and False said: "I'm not mad that I have to kiss you, I'm more mad about that X thought that this was a good idea!" She said it before even thinking about it and just realised what she had just said. Her mouth formed a little, inaudible "oh" before she blushed and looked down a little, trying hard not to make eye contact. Cleo put a hand under her chin and made False look her in the eye as she put the other arm around the blonde, held her close and slowly kissed her. She felt her long, light hair tickle her in the face and she thoroughly enjoyed the feel of her soft, warm lips on hers.

~~~

Why was she so fond of kissing her? False closed her eyes as the older woman held her close and she felt her cold touch and her slightly rough lips on her own. Of course she didn't complain, she wasn't even bothered by the fact that Cleo was a zombie and that her skin was cold, she found it more fascinating than anything else. It felt so good, but also so different from every other kiss she had ever had and sure, she had thought about how it might be to kiss her, but this was far from all expectations. They ended the kiss and both of them were kind of nervous, False blushing heavily and Cleo was sure that she would've, too, if she had any blood. "I guess I gotta go now... I'll see you later then." With these words, the redhead flew off quickly, leaving a flustered and confused False behind. The blonde touched her lips with her fingers as if she had yet to realise what had just happened and stared into space for some time before she tried to shake off her thoughts and returned to watching the button.

~~~

Many hermits became victims of Xisuma's mistletoe prank that day, not only Stress, Iskall, False and Cleo, but also Ren and Doc, Joe and X himself, who got got by his own prank, and Keralis and Bdubs. At that point, almost all the hermits treated the server like a minefield, trying to either stay away at least 2 meters from anyone else, or looking over their heads constantly when someone was close to them. Some of the hermits were also more amused than anything, and some of them didn't give a fuck, they just kissed whoever was there and then continued what they were doing. In the evening, when everyone started to arrive at the christmas area, the first people began to complain to Xisuma, who looked more entertained than sorry. When everyone was finally there, it was already nearly half past six - Grian and Scar were late as usual - they all sat down at the big table and X said a few words which barely anyone listened to before he told them that the buffet was open. Nearly half the hermits stood up at once, rushing over to the buffet as soon as they heard that, and Xisuma just chuckled and sat down again. The ones who hadn't rushed to the buffet were still at the table, chatting and laughing together. Cleo and Cub spoke about the Herald, Joe tried to explain to Scar why communism was the future while Scar just looked afraid that he might have to listen to that the whole evening. Mumbo and Iskall, who was already back from the buffet talked about how to start Sahara 2 and how to make it better than the first one, when False intervened: "Well, first of all, stock would be great, and maybe make it so that you don't need to read a whole book first to understand it." She winked at them and Stress, who was on False's left, added: "Oh, and also, make it Grian-proof." The short guy in the red sweater, who had just come back from the buffet looked at her with an insulted look as he was just about to eat his potato. "Hey! There was also lots of other rubbish in there, I wasn't the only one!" The other Architechts and the two girls just laughed and Mumbo replied: "Yeah, maybe you're right, we should really add some protection against that sort of stuff this time." The two guys stood up, making their way over to the buffet as well, and Grian helped Scar, who looked thoroughly desperate to get away from Joe, by telling him to try out the chicken at the buffet. A bit later, when everyone had eaten way more than normal, they decided to do the presents and then play some games together, so everyone pulled out their shulker boxes. This year they had decided to not do the secret Santa but to just get presents for the hermits closest to them. Cleo had decided to get something for False, Stress and Joe and some sweets for the others, chocolate, candy canes and gummy bears. She first handed everyone the sweets before she gave her gift to Joe, a crate full of books about different controversic topics, whatever she could find. "Here, Joe, this should last you a few days. I'm already sorry for all of us others though." They laughed and Joe said: "Cleo, you know that I really appreciate your honesty, right?" "Oh shut up, Joe, this is just your way of calling me out." She chuckled and Joe had to grin as well while handing her a package wrapped in bright red paper. She carefully unwrapped it and saw a piece of blue cloth in it. When she unfolded it she saw that she held a scarf, and it was so incredibly soft and fluffy... "You know, you always complain that you're getting sick so easily in winter, so I thought a scarf might be a good shout." She smiled and said: "Wow... thanks, Joe, I love it." Cleo ran her hand over the light fabric once again and immediately wrapped it around her neck before hugging Joe closely, as the taller guy smiled and hugged her back. When they stopped the hug, Joe said: "You know that I really appreciate you, but I got some other presents as well, so I'm going to give those to the others first, right?" "Yeah, sure, me too." She smiled at him again before reaching for her shulker and pulling Stress' present out, packing the shulker away again and trying to make her way over there, but again, she felt like her feet were stuck on the ground and she couldn't move, just like earlier. They both sighed, already knowing what had happened, but they looked over their heads again just to be sure, and they were right. "You know, sometimes I ask myself how X got this idea again..." Cleo put one hand at Joe's chin and kissed him swiftly, just long enough until their feet were free again. They both seemed a little uncomfortable and Joe also looked a bit embarrassed, eyeing over at a specific guy with a helmet and a green robe, who was just handing a present to Biffa, both of them laughing about something Biffa said. "Joe, this is a perfect evening to tell him, now go." Cleo smiled and Joe seemed to want to ask how she knew it for a second before he changed his mind and just went with it.

~~~

False looked over to Cleo and Joe for a second and immediately looked away again when she saw that the older woman was facing her direction. She wasn't really jealous, that wasn't exactly the right word, but it stung, watching the two of them kiss, even though they had to. It was only a quick kiss which neither of them seemed to be happy about, but still. She heard footsteps coming her direction and Ren stood in front of her, holding a medium sized package. He handed it to her and said: "Don't ask, okay?" She gave him a confused look but nodded and unwrapped it, holding two packs of hamster food. "Wha - okay, nevermind." Ren laughed and said: "Don't worry Falsie, it'll make sense." Then he just turned around and went back to Doc and Iskall, leaving her alone with two packs of hamster food. She put it into her shulker and pulled out the one present she still hadn't handed over yet. It was a tiny green one with silver accents, and she walked over to Cleo, holding it tight. "Hey, Cleo... I've got something for you as well." The blonde gave her the small carton, an invisible shiver going down her spine as their hands touched when she handed it over. Cleo took off the wrapping paper carefully and opened the box, which contained a silver armband, in the same colours as the carton. The bracelet itself was made out of silver and there were little emeralds in it. Cleo was overwhelmed and said: "I... wow, that's... thanks, I... I love it, it's really beautiful... thank you, False." The blonde smiled and hugged her tightly for a moment before saying: "I'm glad you like it. Merry Christmas." Cleo smiled as well and hugged her back before putting on the bracelet. "Hey, girls, you coming? We wanted to play games, remember?" We both turned around quickly and went to the ohers, sitting down between Stress and Cub. "So, what do you guys think, what should we play?", Grian asked. Some of the hermits replied with various party games, like 'Would you rather', 'Never have I ever' or 'Truth or dare', but in the end they agreed on Truth or dare and Cub went and got a bottle to spin. The first few things were harmless, but then Jevin decided to tell Scar to sit on someone else's lap, so he went over to Cub, and the questions and dares became more explicit. Soon X wasn't wearing a shirt anymore, and his sixpack did not go unadmired by Joe, Ren and Doc had had to make out for at least a minute and Stress had to tell everyone if she ever had a relationship with a girl, to which she just responded with a simple yes before dropping the subject and spinning the bottle again. False gave Cleo a questioning look but she shook her head. "Oh, no, neither of you, you don't know her, she was in my high school class." The bottle finally slowed down and then pointed at Cleo. "Truth or dare?" "Hm... dare..." Stress thought about it for a second before Iskall leaned over and whispered something into her ear. She nodded and said: "Okay, kiss the person you find the most attractive here for at least ten seconds." She grinned mischeviously and Cleo just sighed, forming an inaudible "fuck you" with her mouth in both her and Iskall's direction, before turning to the blonde next to her and pulling her a little closer, gently kissing her while trying to ignore the others "ooh" - ing around them. False didn't pull away, but she also didn't really respond to the kiss, even though she did enjoy it, she was a little bit embarrassed. When the ten seconds were over, they both opened their eyes and Cleo sat down next to her again while both of them tried to avoid meeting the others looks, and the usually so brave, adventorous redhead just spun the bottle quickly. It pointed at Iskall, who had an arm around Stress, and before she could even ask he already said truth. "Alright then... how many relationships have you had so far?" He bit his lip for a second before saying: "Real relationships, three, or four if you count that one time I held hands with someone in Kindergarten." He spun the bottle as well and it pointed at Grian, whom he dared to sit on Mumbo's lap for the next five rounds. The shorter guy just grinned and crawled into Mumbo's lap while the Redstoner blushed heavily. Then, Grian spun it as well and it pointed at Keralis, who chose truth. "Okay, Keralis..." he thought about it for a second before asking: "Have you ever gifted something... naughty to someone?" The swede simply denied and after a few more rounds, a few of them, Stress, Scar and Zedaph, became really tired and decided to go home. Iskall went to the jungle with Stress and Scar, and Tango and Impulse decided to bring their boyfriend home, and over time, a few of the others left as well, until there were only Jevin, Joe, X, Ren, Doc, Cleo and False left. Jevin, Doc and Ren were really drunk and sang loudly, while the other four discussed a bit before agreeing to bring the three others home. X took care of Jevin, Joe led Doc home and False half-carried Ren with a bit of help from Cleo. They brought him to his new sandstone base where he immediately fell asleep in his bed and after they had thrown a blanket over him they left again. "Hey, False, I got something for you as well, I just couldn't bring it in a shulker box, it's still at my base. Do you want to see it?" The blonde nodded and Cleo took her hand as they flew off toward her zoo, False smiling at the touch of their hands. When they arrived at her base, the redhead let go of her hand and said: "Alright, now close your eyes and wait here." While the blonde stayed there, Cleo went into the hall behind the painting in the first hut and took the little cage in there before returning to her. "Okay, you can look now. He doesn't have a name yet, I thought I'd leave that up to you." False opened her eyes and looked at the cage Cleo was holding. There was a small, fluffy brown ball of fur in there which stared at her with its tiny eyes. "A... hamster?", she asked as she took the cage, looking at it. The redhead nodded and asked: "You don't like it, do you?" She sounded worried and False answered: "Are you kidding? This is the best present I ever got!" She laughed and hugged Cleo tightly as she mumbled: "Thank you, Cleo." The older woman just smiled and hugged her back before False let go of her and just put one hand at her chin, pressing her lips onto the smaller woman's ones, who began searching for a mistletoe over their heads. "Does there have to be one?" Cleo smiled and mumbled: "No. No, it doesn't." And with that words they kissed again, smiling happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo, that was the first story, a bit of cleo x false action, i personally dont really like the end but well *shrugs*
> 
> i decided to just upload like this cuz its already taking longer than i had planned. always open for suggestions/tips.
> 
> if you want to you can also request stuff, if i dont get any requests i'll just continue uploading my own stuff here. (also, i'm new to uploading on ao3 so i'm not really familiar with formatting or so, sorry :P)
> 
> alright, then, i'll see you in the next chapter, bye!
> 
> Word count (with an): 3775 words
> 
> not proofread


	3. hunger games simulator

so, idk how many of you know the hunger games simulator from brantsteele but anyways imma do this with the hermits now cuz why not.

also my formatting won't work for some reason so you just gotta figure out what's added by me sry lol :p

Districts:

1: Mumbo, Grian

2: Scar, Cub

3: Ren, Doc

4: Iskall, Stress

5: Joe, Cleo

6: Xisuma, False

7: TFC, Zedaph

8: Impulse, Tango

9: Keralis, Bdubs

10: Etho, Beef

11: Jevin, Wels

12: Biffa, Python

LET THE HUNGER GAMES BEGIN!

Bloodbath:

As the tributes stand on their podiums, the horn sounds.

Python and Tango fight for a bag. Python gives up and retreats.

Stress runs away from the Cornucopia.

Iskall runs away from the Cornucopia.

Xisuma takes a handful of throwing knives.

Cub and Bdubs fight for a bag. Cub gives up and retreats.

Doc, Mumbo, and Etho work together to get as many supplies as possible.

Wels scares Zedaph away from the cornucopia.

Jevin grabs a shovel.

Cleo runs away from the Cornucopia.

Scar finds a bow, some arrows, and a quiver.

False grabs a shield leaning on the cornucopia.

Joe grabs a backpack and retreats.

Grian runs away from the Cornucopia.

TFC runs away from the Cornucopia.

Keralis runs away from the Cornucopia.

Ren runs into the cornucopia and hides.

Biffa rips a mace out of Impulse's hands.

Beef runs away from the Cornucopia.

Day 1:

Xisuma makes a slingshot.

Jevin discovers a cave.

Etho sprains his ankle while running away from Cleo.

Ooh Cleo already chasing people around?

Keralis goes hunting.

Mumbo receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor.

Python and Biffa split up to search for resources.

Doc attacks Grian, but he manages to escape.

Iskall makes a wooden spear.

Impulse searches for a water source.

Scar runs away from Cub.

Woah, I didn't expect the ConCorp to turn against each other that fast

Tango picks flowers.

Floofy Tango :3

Wels begs for Beef to kill him. He refuses, keeping Wels alive.

TFC collects fruit from a tree.

Bdubs severely slices Ren with a sword.

Woah there dude, not cool! Rip Ren :'(

False, Zedaph, and Stress hunt for other tributes.

Joe bleeds out due to untreated injuries.

Nuuu Joeee :C

Dead:

Ren, District 3

Joe, District 5

Night 1:

Cub climbs a tree to rest.

False defeats Mumbo in a fight, but spares his life.

Oooh the pvp queen strikes again

Wels receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Scar and Beef huddle for warmth.

Nawwww :3

Etho, Doc, TFC, and Tango sleep in shifts.

Cleo receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.

Zedaph receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Biffa and Python sleep in shifts.

Stress cooks her food before putting her fire out.

Xisuma kills Keralis with a sickle.

Noooo Shashwamy!!!

Iskall receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor.

Grian thinks about winning.

Impulse looks at the night sky.

Bdubs screams for help.

Oof someone help Bubbles

Jevin receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.

Dead:

Ren, District 3

Joe, District 5

Keralis, District 9

Day 2:

Stress picks flowers.

Xisuma tries to spear fish with a trident.

Beef questions his sanity.

Already? Jeez

False and Doc split up to search for resources.

Etho stabs Cub while his back is turned.

Rood.

Impulse defeats Biffa in a fight, but spares his life.

Scar makes a slingshot.

Wels goes hunting.

Bdubs tries to sleep through the entire day.

Mood lmao

Mumbo receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.

Zedaph and Tango hunt for other tributes.

Python diverts TFC's attention and runs away.

Grian receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

Cleo discovers a river.

Jevin practices his archery.

Iskall goes hunting.

Dead:

Ren, District 3

Joe, District 5

Keralis, District 9

Cub, District 2

Night 2:

Cleo poisons Etho's drink. He drinks it and dies.

Damn Cleo, where'd you even get that poison from?

False starts a fire.

Beef and Xisuma tell stories about themselves to each other.

Biffa, Stress, Tango, and Wels sleep in shifts.

Iskall, Zedaph, TFC, Jevin, and Grian track down and kill Doc.

5:1 ain't very fair if you ask me... Rip Doc

Python stays awake all night.

Impulse questions his sanity.

Damn, what's up with the hermits, all questioning their sanity already...

Mumbo and Bdubs tell stories about themselves to each other.

Scar accidently steps on a landmine.

Smort boi 

Dead:

Ren, District 3

Joe, District 5

Keralis, District 9

Cub, District 2

Etho, District 10

Doc, District 3

Scar, District 2

Day 3:

Cleo sprains her ankle while running away from Python.

Bdubs and Grian work together for the day.

Tango stabs Zedaph in the back with a trident.

Eyy, team ZIT is falling apart ._.

TFC questions his sanity.

And another one...

Wels searches for a water source.

False receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

Iskall diverts Jevin's attention and runs away.

Stress discovers a river.

Biffa receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

Beef stalks Xisuma.

Rood.

Mumbo and Impulse work together for the day.

Dead:

Ren, District 3

Joe, District 5

Keralis, District 9

Cub, District 2

Etho, District 10

Doc, District 3

Scar, District 2

Zedaph, District 7

Night 3:

Jevin and Xisuma tell stories about themselves to each other.

Bdubs and Tango hold hands.

Oh so you hold hands after you killed your friends? 

Grian shoots an arrow at Wels, but misses and kills Python instead.

How do you mess up that badly?

Iskall loses sight of where he is.

Mumbo starts a fire.

Stress cannot handle the circumstances and commits suicide.

Nooooo Stress stay with us ._.

Cleo passes out from exhaustion.

False goes to sleep.

Haha everyone dies or passes out or is productive and False just goes to sleep as if she wasn't in a huge "last man standing" match xd

Beef screams for help.

Oh no someone help our Beefy boi

Impulse and Biffa tell stories about themselves to each other.

TFC receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor.

Dead:

Ren, District 3

Joe, District 5

Keralis, District 9

Cub, District 2

Etho, District 10

Doc, District 3

Scar, District 2

Zedaph, District 7

Python, District 12

Stress, District 4

Day 4:

Biffa falls into a frozen lake and drowns.

Aw come on Biffa, really?

Beef defeats Impulse in a fight, but spares his life.

Cleo begs for Iskall to kill her. He refuses, keeping Cleo alive.

Thank you Iskall, I swear, if you had killed her I would've never forgiven you!

Xisuma camouflauges himself in the bushes.

Grian sprains his ankle while running away from Mumbo.

False sees smoke rising in the distance, but decides not to investigate.

Smort

Bdubs severely injures Wels and leaves him to die.

Oooh Bdubs no

TFC collects fruit from a tree.

Jevin scares Tango off.

Heh, now I imagine a blue slime chasing a fire demon around lol

Dead:

Ren, District 3

Joe, District 5

Keralis, District 9

Cub, District 2

Etho, District 10

Doc, District 3

Scar, District 2

Zedaph, District 7

Python, District 12

Stress, District 4

Biffa, District 12

Wels, District 11

Night 4:

Impulse tries to treat his infection.

Bdubs passes out from exhaustion.

Oof

Cleo, Xisuma, Iskall, and False track down and kill Mumbo.

Again, 4:1 seems a little unfair, just saying

Tango receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Jevin tends to TFC's wounds.

Beef screams for help.

Grian receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

Dead:

Ren, District 3

Joe, District 5

Keralis, District 9

Cub, District 2

Etho, District 10

Doc, District 3

Scar, District 2

Zedaph, District 7

Python, District 12

Stress, District 4

Biffa, District 12

Wels, District 11

Mumbo, District 1

Day 5:

Jevin repeatedly stabs Iskall to death with sais.

Hey, rude.

Cleo explores the arena.

TFC receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Xisuma strangles Grian with a rope.

Woah dude, calm down. No need to get bloodthirsty.

False makes a slingshot.

Beef and Impulse hunt for other tributes.

Tango and Bdubs split up to search for resources.

Dead:

Ren, District 3

Joe, District 5

Keralis, District 9

Cub, District 2

Etho, District 10

Doc, District 3

Scar, District 2

Zedaph, District 7

Python, District 12

Stress, District 4

Biffa, District 12

Wels, District 11

Mumbo, District 1

Iskall, District 4

Grian, District 1

Night 5:

Tango and Jevin talk about the tributes still alive.

False receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

Impulse and TFC run into each other and decide to truce for the night.

Beef is unable to convince Bdubs to not kill him.

Nooo Bdubs! ;-;

Cleo looks at the night sky.

Xisuma receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.

haha Xisuma go boom

Dead:

Ren, District 3

Joe, District 5

Keralis, District 9

Cub, District 2

Etho, District 10

Doc, District 3

Scar, District 2

Zedaph, District 7

Python, District 12

Stress, District 4

Biffa, District 12

Wels, District 11

Mumbo, District 1

Iskall, District 4

Grian, District 1

Beef, District 10

The Feast:

The cornucopia is replenished with food, supplies, weapons, and memoirs from the tributes' families.

Jevin bleeds out due to untreated injuries.

How does a slime bleed tho? And are there now multiple smaller blue slimes everywhere? Isn't that somehow cheating then? So many questions.

TFC and Xisuma track down and kill False.

NOOOOO U DIDN'T I SWEAR TO GOD - I'm gonna break your legs. Both of you. Prepare to die.

Cleo decides not to go to The Feast.

Impulse decides not to go to The Feast.

Tango cannot handle the circumstances and commits suicide.

Tango went and committed die lol

Bdubs bleeds out due to untreated injuries.

Heh now you down after you got half the kills

Dead:

Ren, District 3

Joe, District 5

Keralis, District 9

Cub, District 2

Etho, District 10

Doc, District 3

Scar, District 2

Zedaph, District 7

Python, District 12

Stress, District 4

Biffa, District 12

Wels, District 11

Mumbo, District 1

Iskall, District 4

Grian, District 1

Beef, District 10

Jevin, District 11

False, District 6

Tango, District 8

Bdubs, District 9

Day 6:

Cleo steals from Xisuma while he isn't looking.

Impulse tends to TFC's wounds.

Well that day was boring-

Dead:

Ren, District 3

Joe, District 5

Keralis, District 9

Cub, District 2

Etho, District 10

Doc, District 3

Scar, District 2

Zedaph, District 7

Python, District 12

Stress, District 4

Biffa, District 12

Wels, District 11

Mumbo, District 1

Iskall, District 4

Grian, District 1

Beef, District 10

Jevin, District 11

False, District 6

Tango, District 8

Bdubs, District 9

Night 6:

Impulse and Cleo hold hands.

No I really dislike this no-

Xisuma tends to his wounds.

TFC tries to treat his infection.

Again no deaths

Dead:

Ren, District 3

Joe, District 5

Keralis, District 9

Cub, District 2

Etho, District 10

Doc, District 3

Scar, District 2

Zedaph, District 7

Python, District 12

Stress, District 4

Biffa, District 12

Wels, District 11

Mumbo, District 1

Iskall, District 4

Grian, District 1

Beef, District 10

Jevin, District 11

False, District 6

Tango, District 8

Bdubs, District 9

Day 7:

Cleo searches for firewood.

Impulse tracks down and kills Xisuma.

Oooh we're down to the final 3, who do you think will win? I know who I want to win, that's for sure.

TFC camouflauges himself in the bushes.

Dead:

Ren, District 3

Joe, District 5

Keralis, District 9

Cub, District 2

Etho, District 10

Doc, District 3

Scar, District 2

Zedaph, District 7

Python, District 12

Stress, District 4

Biffa, District 12

Wels, District 11

Mumbo, District 1

Iskall, District 4

Grian, District 1

Beef, District 10

Jevin, District 11

False, District 6

Tango, District 8

Bdubs, District 9

Xisuma, District 6

Arena Event:

Carnivorous squirrels start attacking the tributes.

The squirrels separate and kill Cleo and TFC.

NOOOOOOO YOU CAN''T KILL CLEO WHYYYYYYYY ;-;

Dead:

Ren, District 3

Joe, District 5

Keralis, District 9

Cub, District 2

Etho, District 10

Doc, District 3

Scar, District 2

Zedaph, District 7

Python, District 12

Stress, District 4

Biffa, District 12

Wels, District 11

Mumbo, District 1

Iskall, District 4

Grian, District 1

Beef, District 10

Jevin, District 11

False, District 6

Tango, District 8

Bdubs, District 9

Xisuma, District 6

Cleo, District 5

TFC, District 7

The winner is Impulse from District 8!

gg dude lol

Placements:

1\. Impulse  
2\. TFC  
3\. Cleo  
4\. Xisuma  
5\. Bdubs  
6\. Tango  
7\. False  
8\. Jevin  
9\. Beef  
10\. Grian  
11\. Iskall  
12\. Mumbo  
13\. Wels  
14\. Biffa  
15\. Stress  
16\. Python  
17\. Zedaph  
18\. Scar  
19\. Doc  
20\. Etho  
21\. Cub  
22\. Keralis  
23\. Joe  
24\. Ren

District Placements:

1\. District8  
2\. District7  
3\. District5  
4\. District6  
5\. District9  
6\. District11  
7\. District10  
8\. District1  
9\. District4  
10\. District12  
11\. District2  
12\. District3

Kills:

4: Xisuma  
3: Bdubs  
2: TFC  
2: Cleo  
2: Jevin  
2: Grian  
2: Iskall  
1: False  
1: Zedaph  
1: Impulse  
1: Tango  
1: Etho

so yeah well that's it, imma cry now, bye lol


	4. Captured - #1

so, i recently came up with this idea, hope you guys like it ^^ (please read the disclaimer for trigger warnings)

also, the ships aren't really the focus here

Disclaimer: blood, descriptions of violence, character death, torture, ptsd 

Ships: Zedaph x Impulse x Tango, some Stress x Iskall

Summary: One day, Cleo and Joe wake up and all the others are gone, so they start searching for them and everything goes wrong. (Season 6)

\----------------------------------------

"Cubfan? Hello?" Joe had been searching for Cub for almost an hour now, but that guy was nowhere to be seen. He also hadn't met any of the other hermits all day, which made him wonder if he had missed a meeting or something, but then he saw someone with bright red hair flying over him. "Hey, Cleo!" She landed next to him and said: "Hi Joe, have you seen Stress and False? We wanted to do something together today but I can't find them." "No, I haven't, but I'm searching for Cub, do you know where he is? Actually, I haven't seen any of the others today, I thought I maybe missed a meeting or so, but when you are here as well..." Cleo thought for a moment before she said: "No, that can't be, the last meeting was only a few days ago, but now that you say it, I haven't met any of the others today either. That's weird. Maybe they're pranking us?" "Hm, probably, but why would they do that?" The woman laughed and said: "Come on, Joe, we pranked them so often, and you're wondering why they'd prank us back?" "Yeah, you're probably right. We should just wait until they come back." Cleo smiled and said: "Alright, I need to do some more work at my ship, now that I apparently won't do something with Stress and False. See you later, Joe!" With those words she left again, flying north toward her base. Joe still felt like something was off, he had a funny feeling in his stomach, but maybe that was just yesterdays dinner. Yeah, probably, he had never really liked eggs. He told himself that Cleo was right, they really had pulled lots of pranks on the others. After he had kind of convinced himself, he made his way over to the mall to get some nether warts for refilling his potion supply.

~~~

In the evening, Cleo began to worry. They wouldn't keep up a prank that long, would they? And it wasn't even a good one. She checked her phone again and again. She had texted the others a while ago, but nobody had read it. Maybe she was wrong, maybe it wasn't a prank. The woman texted Joe, who immediately read it. "Meet at iTrade in 5?" She agreed and flew off, landing in front of the book shop just as Joe stumbled out of the portal. "I'm slowly getting concerned. Maybe we should search for them?" "Good evening to you, too, Cleo. And yes, I think we should. But... where should we start? We are only two people, covering everything will take ages!" Cleo bit her lip, thinking, and said: "We need to think logically. Where would they most likely be?" "Hm... that would be the bases, the shopping district, but we already looked here, the nether or the end, maybe at the industrial district, the minigame district or somewhere in the 1.14 area", Joe replied. "Okay, let's split up. You go to the end, the minigame district and the 1.14 area, I do the bases, the industrial district and look around the shopping district again. Then we meet up in the nether hub and check the different tunnels from there, okay?" He agreed and while Cleo stayed in the shopping district, Joe went back into the nether, making his way to the minigame district. Nobody was there, but he felt something small at his feet and he saw a little ball of fur looking up to him and meowing quietly. "Jellie? What are you doing here?" It took him a second before he remembered that cats can't talk and he lifted her up while pulling out his phone again. He typed: "I'm at the minigame district and I found Jellie, that means Scar shouldn't be far. You coming?" "On my way, give me 5 minutes." Joe went over to the nether portal and waited for her. She soon stumbled out of it and came toward him, looking slightly worried. "So, where did you find her?" "She was running around over there, between Xisuma's undying game and False's "Guess Who" game. Scar would never leave her alone, that's worrying me." "True. Where could they be?" The two of them looked around for a bit until Jellie jumped from Joe's arms and walked off toward the 1.14 village. Both Cleo and Joe followed her, trying to catch Jellie as they left the minigame district. She scratched at the door of Grian's house, which resembled the Weasley's home more and more every time he added another part, and Cleo and Joe looked at each other confused before entering hesitatingly, pushing the door open. Nothing there really seemed off, the only thing there was a note on the table. Cleo took it and read it out. It said: "EX and NPG are coming. Fire demons. -G" "...what? Demons? Do you know what he means?" Joe bit his lip and said: "Possibly. If it is what I think it is." As he saw her questioning look, he explained: "You know, the nether used to be different. There was a different kind of hell, way worse then the one we know. All portals were closed ages ago though, I don't know how they were supposed to get here and take them with them. I'm not guessing you know how to get the server data?" Cleo shook her head and Joe sighed. "Okay then, if I'm not very much mistaken they managed to get into the server and broke down the barriers that blocked them from entering. If you get the materials for the portal, I'm going to try to get to the console to see if I'm correct." Cleo agreed and Joe quickly wrote down what she had to get. "16 wither skeleton heads? And a nether star? That's a lot of resources. Where am I supposed to get all that from?" "Just look through everyone's chests, I'm pretty sure they won't mind if they really are stuck in there." "Fair. I'll be back soon, gonna look through everyone's chests. I'm gonna text you when I've got everything." 

~~~time skip cuz i'm lazy (forgive me plz thx) ~~~

When Joe arrrived at the spot near the fortress where they had agreed to meet, Cleo was already there, waiting for him. She had constructed the portal, the 5 x 5 portal frame out of nether bricks, surrounded by the wither skeleton heads. He looked worried, and he told Cleo that his assumptions were apparently correct and they had torn down the barricades that blocked them from coming here. "So... we need to get a blaze to set this on fire now, then throw the nether star into the flames and the portal is created... right?" "Yep, that's the difficult part... the blaze. Here, take this and then hurry before the time runs out. We got 8 minutes." He handed her a fire resistance potion and they chugged it down while heading into the fortress. They immediately caught the attention of three blazes at once as well as 2 wither skeletons, and quickly ran away, not wanting to get the wither effect. The mobs followed them and the blazes started shooting at them, which didn't really bother them because of the fire resistance. Cleo and Joe jumped down to the portal and the mobs followed them. Joe shot the skeletons with his bow while Cleo lured the blazes toward her before she quickly ran around the portal so they would set it on fire instead of her. After a few tries they finally managed to get the blazes to set it on fire. After that they quickly killed them before their potions ran out. "Ready?" She asked, holding the nether star and looking at Joe. "Do it, we need to bring them back." He stepped back and as soon as Cleo had thrown it into the flames, she ran away from the portal a few steps before turning around and watching it. It began to glow flaming red and sucked in the wither skeleton heads around it one by one as it made loud, scary noises. It was terrifying, and even more so because they knew that they were going to step in there soon. When the portal had sucked in the last head, the sounds became more quiet and they looked at each other, taking a deep breath. "Ready?" Cleo nodded and they jumped into the portal with closed eyes, not daring to look a their bodies felt like they were ripped into pieces and then puzzled back together. Everything about that dimension was horrible, even the way to there. On the other side they fell out of a few metres height and landed on their backs. The air was pressed out of their lungs and they were both unable to breathe for a few seconds before they regained their breath and stood up slowly, looking around. The first thing they noticed was the incredible heat surrounding them. On first glance it looked like the normal nether, but everything was much more extreme than what they were used to. The colours were much more intense, everything was louder and it was an overload of senses. They quickly hid behind a corner as someone hushed around only a few metres away from them, and when they took a closer look they saw that the person looked just like Tango, the same blood red eyes, the same blond hair, but they were followed by a trail of fire and their cape was burning. The person didn't seem to even be bothered by it, and it dawned on Cleo. "Demons." Joe wanted to silence her but it was too late, the demon already turned around and stared directly at the two of them, slowly walking toward them with a malicious grin on his face. Before they even had a chance to do more than just think of running away, they were captured in a ring of glowing red fire which absorbed an absurd amount of heat. "So, so, so, have you come to rescue your little friends? That's cute." The demon continued to grin at them before he hissed to someone they couldn't see: "Hey, tell them I've got the other two. Hurry up!" Then he turned back to Cleo and Joe and an invisible force began choking them until they were held by strong, invisible ropes. They smelled something that smelled like raw flesh and Joe winced in pain, crumbling together. Cleo's zombie insticts almost got her as she smelt it, barely able to restrict herself from attacking her best friend. The demon clapped once and the chains became visible, glowing iron chains at their wrists and around their ankles. "So, you two are coming with me now." His grin vanished as he saw that Cleo wasn't bothered at all by the flaming heat of the chains, but looked at Joe in pain. "You. With the red hair. Is it not hot enough for you? Do you want me to turn the heat up?" Cleo tried to sound unimpressed as she smelt Joe's flesh right next to her and said: "Doesn't matter, bastard. Zombie." She spit in front of his feet in disgust as she tried to ignore Joe's screams and he pulled at the chains roughly, visibly bugged by it. After they had walked through literal hell for a few 100 metres they came out in front of a giant, black castle surrounded by a lava mote with demon knight statues looking over the gate. He pushed them through the entrance and right into the great hall directly at the entrance. "My majesty... I found these sniffing around here and I immediately caught them and brought them here. They wanted to free the other ones." "Very good", a loud, deep, snarling voice said from the throne at the other end of the hall and the demon that had brought them to the castle took a deep bow before chaining the two of them to the ground, Joe's screams becoming less painful as the chains slowly started to cool down. He had cold sweat over him and while his eyes were full of fear, Cleo looked at the king or whatever it was in pure disgust. "What do you want? Let our friends go, what do you need all of us for?" There was a silent sniffing noise from beneath the chair and the king slapped the thing laying in front of him. Cleo had assumed that it was some sort of pet at first, but then she saw short blond hair and an extremely familiar suit, even though torn apart at some spots and dirty. Why was Tango there, laying in front of the throne? "Silence! And for you, my beauty... the answer is docility... control." Cleo stared from him to Tango whimpering at his feet in pure disgust, even thoug she didn't really understand the whole situation, she saw that her friends were tortured here, and she guessed that Tango and Joe weren't the only ones, but the other hermits as well. "Throw him into jail with the others. Put her with the blonde and the guys with the weird accents." A few guards grabbed them and forced them up and into jail cells. Cleo tried to hit and kick the guards and screamed at them, but it was no use, in the cells they were just chained to the ground again before being knocked out.

~~~

"Cleo! Cleo, come on, wake up!" Someone slapped her in the face and she was immediately awake, looking around nervously. She was in a cell with Iskall, Doc and False, and while False and Doc were laening over her, Iskall was sitting in the other corner of the room, staring over at something Cleo wasn't able to see. Apparently Doc hat slapped her and False said: "Cleo! How are you here? And why didn't you two take action earlier?" "Earlier? We thought it was a bad prank, but after a day or so we became worried and created the portal... -" She was interruped by Iskall's laugh. "A day. Sure. We've been here fore multiple weeks, almost a month now." The red haired woman looked at them confusedly and False nodded. "Iskall's right. We thought something had happened to you two after you hadn't turned up for a few days." "Well, you know, time passes differently in other dimensions sometimes. Maybe time passes a lot quicker here and that's why it's been weeks for us and only hours for you", Doc said, staring into the void. False looked like she wanted to ask something but she was interrupted by Cleo. "Okay, but where are the others? Why did they put me with you but Joe not?" The three of them changed a few looks Cleo couldn't interpret before Doc said: "Well, we are the ones who fought back, there are three cells. One for us, one for the others and one for their... victims." "...victims? What do you mean, victims?" Cleo looked confused and False sighed. "They don't want us or the other hermits, they only want Tango. And they get him to listen by torturing us. They picked a few of them that would really hurt him, on one hand Zed and Impulse, of course... but also some of the softer hermits that are easier to break..." Cleo had many questions, but she just waited for them to elaborate further. "They've also got Stress and Scar... and...they had Grian as well." "W-what do you mean, had?" False looked at the ground and mumbled: "They don't care about any of us, except for Tango, Impulse and Zed. Yes, they torture them, but they wouldn't let them die. The others, however... well, they weren't planning to, I think, but they killed him. And if we don't get out of here soon, Stress will be next. I don't think she can stand it much longer." All of them became silent and Iskall stared over to the other cells Cleo could see as well, now that Doc had moved. He looked at Stress, who just lay on the floor, staring into the void, and he whimpered before turning his head away. Doc glanced at him, pity in his expression, visibly hurt by seeing one of his closest friends like this. "Anyways... we need a plan to get out of here as fast as possible. I don't think Grian will be the last if we stay here much longer. The problem is their fire. Only Doc can stand it, and never for long. I don't know if you've seen their armies, but even if we all fought, we'd be massively outnumbered. They have got like... thrice as many people as us." False's voice sounded desperate and Cleo said: "I don't care about their fire, they can't really harm me with it, but I can't keep up with that many of course. Also, I'm not a good fighter anyways, even without their fire they'd probably beat me with ease." The four of them were interrupted by some guards coming their way and forcing them up, dragging them to the great hall where all of them were lined up in a row and Zedaph was dragged right in front of Tango. They were all forced to face him as the demon, who also found Cleo and Joe grabbed the small blond guy and set his own hand on fire before pressing it against Zedaph's exposed back. He cried in pain and tears began running down his cheeks as his back was literally on fire. Both Tango and Impulse closed their eyes at the sight of their boyfriend getting tortured, unable to help him. The demon stopped for a second and Zed panted, trying to regain his breath before he was kicked down, laying face down on the floor. The fire demon continued to hit and kick him until he was bleeding. After some time he stopped screaming and was knocked out, so the demon dragged him up and just threw him to the side. He glanced at Tango and grinned. "Are you convinced yet or do you need some more help deciding?" The dirty blond guy whimpered and said: "Please, leave them alone, take me instead!" "Oh, so you want to see some more? Sure, we can do that." He had an malicious grin and one of the other demons dragged Stress to the front at the wink of a hand. It was shocking, how empty her eyes were. She was motionless and the other hermits weren't even sure if she even knew what was going on. The brunette stared at the demon who looked a bit disappointed at the lack of fear in her eyes, but as soon as he started hitting her, she began screaming and tried to hit the guy, but her arms were immediately chained to the floor and she was helpless again. "Stop! Please, stop it! I give in! But let them go, please!" Tango cried and the demon immediately stopped hitting her. "I knew you were going to make the right decision, you're not dumb." He grinned and pushed Stress away from him and the other demons removed the other hermit's chains and after the king snapped his fingers once, Tango was the only one left in the hall. Little did he know that not all of them were safe and well yet...

\----------------------------------------

alright, here is the start of the next story, even tho i didnt expect it to be that long. this are probably going to be about 3 chapters, so let me know what you think about it in the comments if you like ^^

also, i wrote most of this during cleo's twitch sings stream yesterday evening and right now i'm watching her birthday stream lol :p 

if you are reading this on the day i post this, i recommend you go and watch the mcc this evening, team green guardians ftw! (green guardians are false, ren, cub and iskall, theyre all gonna be streaming on twitch) (if you werent planning on doing that anyway lol)

word count (with an): 3462

again, not proofread


End file.
